Sunday, May 23, 2010

Postpartum Depression: 1 week out (I Want My Mommy !!)

Baby is one week old now and I'm not depressed. I haven't even had the baby blues. What I am is anxious. Well, that and charmed by sweet new little one. And feeling quite blessed to have three other beautiful children. And excited for what the future holds.

But, really, I'm feeling pretty anxious.

See with each baby my mom comes out to visit and takes over the cooking and the laundry and the cleaning. She coos over the funny faces that my baby makes. She plays with the older kids. She chats with me through the somewhat endless hours of nursing.

And then she leaves. As in gets driven to the airport and flies across the five states that separate us and goes home to my dad and little sister.

That's usually when I start to lose it. Turns out I'm a pretty good mom when I not the only mommy in the house. But when it's just me I get easily overwhelmed.

Knowing this, we've planned. I started taking Paxil just after Baby was delivered. My husband is taking some time off work next week. And, since school is almost out, I'm going to my mom's so that she can keep mom-ming me and my brood a little more. We're calling it a family reunion (except my brother can't come, which makes it not much of a reunion at all!), but I think we all know that it's actual just a bunch of people willing to sacrifice so that I don't go crazy.

And that makes me feel overwhelmed in a whole new way. A good way. There are people who love me and when I ask them for help they are willing. Even when it means getting overrun by hordes of preschoolers!

Everybody needs a mommy. Especially when you are a mommy. I wonder how many cases of PPD could be ameliorated if we were all able to mom each other a little more.

9 comments:

Pink Panda said...

I love your post and blog! I found your blog awhile ago and then re-found it today when I googled LDS Psychiatrist in Virgnia Maryland. I have no idea why. Anyways I kept reading when I read about your miscarriage. I have four children and had a miscarriage in April and am bipolar. My blog is iwouldificouldbuticannot.blogspot.com/ :)

Katherine at Postpartum Progress said...

I'm thinking of you and wishing you good health. No matter what happens you are not alone.

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog the other day and have enjoyed reading it. I'm so glad your mom was able to come help, but after help leaves can be even more difficult. Hope you get the help you need. Please keep blogging. It was so nice to read something that I could completely relate to. I am sending you my depression profile. I know you have a new baby, so if you don't get to it, no problem. I think it will help me to just write it down. Thinking of you! xoxo :)

Valerie said...

My biggest issue through "the fog" was the anxiety. Yowza, that sure can do a number on me.

I'm glad you are aware of things and are taking steps to help yourself. What a great example to others that need it!!

Dianna said...

That is great that you and your family are being proactive. It sounds like experience has given you wisdom. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I think you are helping a lot of people. I hope you can relax and enjoy your family for your visit.

Johanna said...

Wonderful that you have made plans. Those first months after a baby is born can be rough, even without depression. Thank goodness for moms who will still mother us even when we are grown ups! It's a blessing not everyone has. I hope you continue to feel good and can enjoy this new baby.

Lura said...

I had the same problem with my two cases of post-partum depression. Only it wasn't my mom who left, it was my husband. He went back to Iraq when my first was two weeks old, and went back to building our house when my third was one and a half weeks old. He stuck around during the entire post-partum period with our middle child, which is why I didn't have all out depression that time. Good luck, and please remember you can still send your kids out here anytime you need to!

Natalie Jane said...

Hey there! We were both at the virtual Mormon.Org conference, so I was just stopping by to say hello :) Good luck with your little one!

Story of our Life said...

I'm in such awe of the love and support you have from your family.

I hope and pray that you continue to do well.

Congrats on your new little life and what the futrue holds.