Sunday, August 28, 2011

Paying my Children to go to Church !?!?!

You know it's going to be a good Sunday when all four kids have broken down in tears and stomped the feet repeatedly and wailing, "I won't go! You can't make me!!"

Ahh, you could just revel in those sweet Sabbath morning sounds.

Usually at least two of my children pitch fits about Church, but this morning was over the top with three of them desperately trying to get out of their weekly ecumenical obligations. See, the Little Cannoli has been sick for the past week and last night she cried and cried. I took her to Urgent Care this morning to get her ears checked, but they were all clear. The doctor looked at me, smiled and said, "It's just cold!" Little Cannoli needed a nap and since she was (is) feverish there was no way she was going to Church. That means one of us adults had to stay home.

After the DH and I negotiated for a good five or six minutes about who needed a nap more (it was super sophisticated of us, "Me!" "I'm SO tired, though!" "Me, too!" "Nu-uh. I'm more tired." "No, I am!" "You have more jobs at Church. You have to go." "Not this week, I don't." "But I don't WANT to!" Yeah, we weren't at our best either. . .) the DH finally bit the bullet and said he would take the kids. Heaven bless him!!

When the kids found out I wasn't going the weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth began. Supergirl E and Mr. J were easily bought off with snacks. But Princess N was holding firm. She had drawn her line in the sand and wasn't budging. There was no way she was going to Church without me unless the DH carried her kicking and screaming. After talking with her for awhile, she admitted she was worried he wouldn't make it to Primary to pick her up on time and she would left all alone in the Primary room. There was more back and forth and finally I said, "You can trust your dad. He will be there. I promise!"

Princess N rolled her eyes, "Pu-lease. Yeah right."

And then it came out of my mouth: "I'm so certain you can trust him that I will give you $3 if he doesn't show up on time."

"Seriously? $3? 300 pennies worth of money?" Her tears immediately dried up and her eyes gleamed like Donald Trump's do every time he fires someone.

"I trust him so much I'm willing to put a bet down," I said. "Not that YOU should ever bet. Especially on a Sunday. Because gambling is bad. . . but your DAD is not."

"$3, huh? All right." She then turned to her siblings, "Hey guys! Mom's gonna pay us money to go with Dad!"

See? Getting your kids to Church is easy as pie. You just have to pay them :P


Charlotte said...

Oh this made me laugh SO hard! I love you!! (And now I have to ask: did you have to pay out the $3? ;)) I hope little Cannoli feels better soon! We're fighting off colds here too...

Kelly said...

Wow, I hope you didn't need to pay up! You missed a good day though. New RS presidency -- Liz O. (P), Cathy K.(1), and Nancy P.(2), with Tara N. (S)
Also, today was the last day in Primary for my #2 and also Sam M.
We missed you!

Laura said...

Nope I didn't have to pay up. He actually got to Primary before it even got out :)

Kelly, thanks for filling me in on the details! I'm so excited for Liz :) The only bad part is that this means a ward shake-up has begun. What if you have to leave Primary?!?!

Coffinberry said...

Aha! That is why I couldn't find you yesterday!

Sorry that the little one is sick!

Hearts to you!

Lura said...

This is hilarious (though I'm sure it wasn't while you were going through it). Glad my kids are not the only ones who throw a fit about going to church.